4​-​Way Split (2014)

by Captain Three Leg



released February 27, 2014

Four-way split cassette of ultimate idiot sounds featuring ERECTILE DEMENTIA, ZITSQUATCH, CAPTAIN THREE LEG and PROSTHETIC YOUTH. The absolute worst of the worst from some of the dumbest names in noisy garbage! Ten minutes of brand new nonsense from each of these heavy hitters. Professionally dubbed tapes with full color covers and stupid little black and white booklets full of useless information and juvenile artwork. A thoughtfully-crafted musical celebration of culture and class.

Music and lyrics by Captain Three Leg except tracks 3, 6, 9 +10 (lyrics by Tom Bothered) and 8 (M.O.D. cover). Noise transitions by Colin Taibi and Dave Wren. Insert artwork by Tim Mohr. All songs recorded January 5th, 2014 on a Fostex XR-7 Multitracker with additional overdubs and mixing done on Reaper throughout January 2014.

Andy - Guitar, Bass + Vocals
Brian - Drums + Vocals




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Track Name: Creeper
Track Name: Hawthorne, CA
Al is going bald
Dennis Wilson's dead
Mike Love is a dick
Carl Wilson is dead

Brian's lost his mind
Brucie might be gay
David's off his mark
Carl is still dead
Track Name: We're Hard
We're the kings, we're the kings of sleaze
We bring all the ladiesdown to their knees
We're desperadoes and we're easy to please
But please don't give us no STDs

Mexicano maids or Aussie Sheilas
We don't mind as long as you please us
Don't wanna score? You must be nuts
If we get the Foster's flop, well you know it sucks

But that never happens to us
Cos we're hard, we're fucking hard
So give your bodies to us
Cos we're hard, we're fucking hard
Track Name: Jofa


Head wrapped in foam
Kicked out of his home
Hanging by a thread
With his half empty head
Track Name: Hotel Broslin
Torn apart at the age of twelve
Xacto knife rips through unwilling flesh
Unwanted brother wrapped up in plastic
Retrieved by Duane and nursed back to health

Belial, Belial - Oh, my god!
Belial, Belial - What have you done?
Belial, Belial - Get back in the basket
Belial, Belial

Pack up your shit, we're going to New York
To sniff out the doctors and make them all pay
One by one, we're exacting revenge
Faces chewed off as the corpses pile up

Holed up inside of a sleazy hotel
With paper thin walls and locks easy to crack
My sexual urges are too strong to ignore
But lonely Belial is feeling left out
Track Name: The Shining Path
Reject all bourgeois religiosity
Cease all counter-revolutionary activity
Embrace pure communism for true liberty
It's the shining path to enlightenment

Shining path! Shining path!
We'll pave the people's roads with your skulls
Shining path! Shining path!
We'll make soup for the workers from your bones
Track Name: Fuck All Something
So many injustices to get worked up about
Stretch myself thin to adopt every cause
My heart bleeds dry for the underdog
Worked into a rage cuz you just don't get it

I scream these songs loud and yet nothing seems to change
Why isn't this working? Why aren't things being fixed?
What more can I do? I'm giving all that I've got
These demo tapes and lyrics should have changed things by now

Ooooh, I'm so fucking MAD!
What the fuck is going on here?
Are you even fucking listening?
Or am I just talking to myself?
Track Name: The Thunder Of Hooves
The thunder of hooves across the earth
The devil's hellion screams with mirth
Upon their steeds, they lay a curse
Rampaging across the land


War and hellfire, the lifeblood of man
Bringing destruction with their clan

Bringing destruction with our band
We're coming for you! (x2)
Spilling blood with our bare hands
The thunder of hooves! (x2)
Track Name: Mosammet Hena
14 year old female Bangladesh
Sentenced to 100 with the lash
Had an affair with a married man
Took 70, then taken away in a van

She was whipped to death
Whipped to death
Those religious clerics had her whipped to death