Get all 89 Captain Three Leg releases available on Bandcamp and save 80%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Captain Three Leg / Uddercock, 31 Uplifting Songs, Captain Three Leg / Decomposing Serenity, Mouth Star, Captain Three Leg / Godstomper, Captain Three Leg / Esmectatons, Artificial Live, Captain Three Leg / Taco Tuesday, and 81 more.
1. |
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home from work on the couch
stayed home sick, make it count
make them feel bad
get in their way
complain a lot
ruin their day
piss and moan, let them know
just how sick you really are
always in sight
you milk it dry
go to your fucking room
and keep your fucking germs to yourself
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2. |
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going for that God applause
soared to the top of your chosen field
given awards from your group of peers
you take the stage and open your gob
"Shout out to my main man, God."
thunderous rounds of applause break out
cast that net and bring back the easy cheer
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3. |
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building up your tolerance
to physical abuse
pain leads to gains
increase the level of suffering
until you die
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4. |
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handling the fluids of another man
I know it's rough, but do the best that you can
run it to the lab to be checked for disease
but, don't tip the fucking cup, or you'll get piss on your sleeve
take this cup
fill it up
to the top
be sure to stop
you went too fucking far
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5. |
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I hate my dad
he makes me mad
he made me clean my fucking room
ticking time-bomb
filled with adolescent rage
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6. |
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You brought the world mincecore
back in 1985
you've put more fucking records out
than anyone else alive
a growing list of releases
that list is fucking insane
with numbers nearing a thousand
yet no one can say your name
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7. |
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Black Market Fetus came down to record
I was in my mid-twenties, they were barely nineteen
loading out their van and setting up gear
hardcore porno on the TV screen
failing to find the humor, it's a decision I regret
awkward silence fills the air while switching off the set
the drive to 515 filled with jokes at my expense
the creepy older dude with no common sense
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8. |
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you want to press a record
but haven't got the means
solicit money from your fans
who get nothing in exchange
too cheap to make your dreams come true
nobody owes you a fucking thing
kick that shit off of cyber space
if you're not paying, why should I?
pool your money together
sell some shit, or get a fucking job
fuck off
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9. |
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not the most evil
you have to admit
in the spectrum of sin
this is low on the list
tapping into the occult is stupid as fuck
but you can buy those fucking things at Walmart
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10. |
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we went to Minneapolis in 1996
the four of us piled up in the car
to go and see Dropdead
from across the room
Daryl spots some spiky knee-high kicks
he convinced the dude to sell them
but they didn't even fit
Hey!
Sell me your boots!
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11. |
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wrong!
you predicted the date of our demise
though you've done your worst
trying to speed it along
2000 long years of being wrong
there's no self-fulfilling prophecy
the alignment of planets
doesn't mean a fucking thing
you fucking prick
what makes you think you're right
when everyone else has been wrong?
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12. |
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standing on the center stage
overweight and overpaid
fan of yours jumps on the stage
bouncer takes him to the floor
kick his head and hurt him more
rough him up and make him sore
stop the show, begin to rant
try to play it cool, but can't
wipe the poop out of your pants
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13. |
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someone out there is depending on you
but live your life for you and not for anyone else
you're gonna fuck up on the way to the end
so forget about the others and be true to yourself
it's okay to be wrong
you don't have to be right
if you never try, you'll never have to put up a fight
expectations are lowered
soon they'll leave you alone
then you'll never have to leave the comforts of your home
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14. |
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little green men travel space and time
to insert metal objects in your behind
tremendous resources wasted
just to fuck you in the ass
intergalactic booty call
the most expensive piece of ass
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15. |
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mouth open wide
dick stuffed inside
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16. |
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so many hours spent surfin' the tubes
with a hand full of tissue and a bottle of lube
spend half of that energy picking up chicks
you'll see less time at home with your hands on your dick
you've wasted a third of your life
watching other people fuck
step away from the screen
and do some fucking of your own
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17. |
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thrash metal staple
songs of nuclear threat
there was one on every album
there was one on each cassette
born too late
(anti-nuke)
to participate
we wanted to partake
but we barely missed the trend
by the time we learned to play
the Cold War had reached the end
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18. |
Dysmorfic - Hard Cash
01:52
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Hard cash, what's so hard?
Pay for play then you don't care
D.I.Y. underground, you don't know where we come from
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19. |
Dysmorfic - In My City
01:15
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In my city there's no room for a fuckface like you are
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20. |
Dysmorfic - Slave
01:14
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In your songs you fight the system
in your songs you break the chains
In real life you're no different than
the flock you despise
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21. |
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Spyke Thompson wants to book us
whores and lines but where's our backline?
Spyke Thompson is a choad
we don't need none of his lies
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22. |
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(instrumental)
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