Get all 89 Captain Three Leg releases available on Bandcamp and save 80%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Captain Three Leg / Uddercock, 31 Uplifting Songs, Captain Three Leg / Decomposing Serenity, Mouth Star, Captain Three Leg / Godstomper, Captain Three Leg / Esmectatons, Artificial Live, Captain Three Leg / Taco Tuesday, and 81 more.
1. |
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Gimmie a buck
Not your change
Quarters don't go far these days
Three, four bucks
Times are hard
My cell phone app can swipe a card
Being super lazy is not immune to inflation
I need paper money for my permanent vacation
My vape juice and my car
They're not gonna fund themselves
Got my booze, got my drugs
My parents said that I'm cut off
Dig deep
Gimmie some
Dig deep
Coke and rum
Dig deep
Trust fund bum
Middle class trash
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2. |
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Veracruz x2
Taqueria Veracruz
Veracruz x2
This Winnebago roach coach fucking rules
Tacos, tamales, burritos, tortas
Tostados, toredas, quesadillas, caldo
Gazpacho, cocktel, aguas, frescas
Cerdo, vaca, camarón, pollo
Y sangria
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3. |
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How can they call it "The Happening"
When nothing fucking happens?
Almost two hours of waiting around
For something to transpire
If boredom were fear, I'd shit my pants
I didn't pay, I still feel fucking robbed
The plot is nonexistent
How does Whalberg have a job?
The anticipation is staggering
The story is as bad as his acting
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4. |
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Brain filled up with shit that you're never going to use
Simple word association takes you straight to the tube
Facts about TV shows, movies and song
Have all crowded up your head, and it didn't take long
As soon as you can sit, you're sat in front of a screen
From morning until night and all points in between
Push the good stuff out to make room for the bad
Oh, No! We're blotto!
Stinking drunk with useless shit
Trivial shit is vomited out
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5. |
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I was born with three testicles, like some mutant freak
One lopped off , now I'm down to two
Now my crotch is normal, just like you
You couldn't tell by looking, but I used to have three balls
My crotch cast a shadow that was anything but small
Now there's hardly anything at all
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6. |
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Arf! Arf! Arf!
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Instinctively and without hesitation
I heroically assess the situation
Bravely, I determine my liability
I look fear in the face, and then I boldly...
Run away x2
When the going gets tough, the tough get running
Run away x2
Gallantly, I turn away to flee another day
Courageously, I seize this moment to leave
With superhuman strength, I leave you in the lurch
Always sharp and ready to avoid the smallest hassle
I will proactively avoid the battle
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8. |
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Poppin' a tent
Dry-humping on the dance floor
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9. |
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How does it feel, Neil?
To make a meal, Neil?
Totalitarian vegetables
I wish just once that this wouldn't happen
I wish I had six pairs of hands
Hey, Rick! You're gonna freak
I've got six pairs of hands
Oh, wow! Check this out
I've got six pairs of hands
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10. |
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Set it for 97 seconds
It really confuses the fuck out of them
I mean, it still works
But, I can tell it's super confused
Spraypaint can in the microwave x2
Like in "Under Siege"
When he killed those dudes
In the belly of that ship
And the sailors mutinied
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11. |
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They got me down, but it ain't no thing
When I hit the streets
Gotta let my nuts hang
Got a playa cased, runnin' so much game
Er'body goin' through the same ol', thang
Ottumwa crew roll up on you
A pine box or a cell
One way in, one way out
Life on the streets is hell
The busta's gonna clip if it makes them a dime
Homie, I'm gonna trip
I'm 'boughta pull a crime
Think your crew hard, my nine put you down
Cause it's tough in dem streets / In Ottumwa town
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12. |
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The street's for cars
Not for your bike
In every lane
And blowing lights
These hipster fucks
Are slow and lame
They're in my way
All over the place
Why don't you all
Get the fuck out of my way?
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13. |
Landfill - Mana Burn
00:29
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Landfill - Rubber Spine
00:18
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17. |
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18. |
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19. |
Landfill - Lavendar Bath
00:17
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20. |
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21. |
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