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Captain Three Leg - Urgent Hardcore​/​Feet, Ass or Onions​/​Ace of Bass​/​Fecal Supreme​/​No Discount for Destitution​/​Burping Witch​/​Shirley Obscene​/​Popcorn PTSD​/​The Elton John of Drums​/​They Could Be Juggalos​/​DJ Milquetoast​/​The Generation Gap​/​Fast & Loose (Stools​)​/​D​.​N​.​R.

from Lazy Bastards Compilation by Various

/

lyrics

URGENT HARDCORE
I know this shit’s important
But change is fucking slow
You bark out shit with urgency
And shout “Let’s fucking go!”
You think you’re changing the world
But not today
Those kids listening to your fucking records
Aren’t going to change a fucking thing


FEET, ASS OR ONIONS
An unknown stench
Can’t track it down
Its feet, ass or onions
One of the above
Take out the trash
And hit the fucking showers


ACE OF BASS
In Denver, Colorado
There Lived a man named Ace
People knew him for his yell
But he could also play the bass


FECAL SUPREME
Fecal supreme
Dirty hand pizza
Filthy hands dole out
Toppings on my pie


NO DISCOUNT FOR DESTITUTION
Pay up
There’s no sliding scale in grind


BURPING WITCH
Crippled Lucifer ignored the warning signs
The witch lets one go in his face


SHIRLEY OBSCENE
No dick too big
No deed too foul
She’ll show you things
That’d make a dead man blush
Shirley Obscene is back on the scene


POPCORN PTSD
Smoldering bag of charred black corn
The very worst way to start my shift


THE ELTON JOHN OF DRUMS
He tickles the snare
With the greatest of care
He’s the Elton John of drums
He looks fabulous behind the kit


THEY COULD BE JUGGALOS
Leave them be
They could be….
In desperate need of a shower
Dumb as fucking rocks
Faygo bottles strewn about
Be careful of their cocks
Leave them be
Don’t let them breed
Turn that fucking hatchet around
And take yourself out


DJ MILQUETOAST
You’ve done your worst with music
You’re killing rock ‘n’ roll
Even white kids hate this shit
You’re an embarrassment to us all
Go back to your fucking chess game, Poindexter
And leave this shit alone


THE GENERATION GAP
The generation gap
Gets smaller every day


FAST & LOOSE (STOOLS)
Racing to the toilet, get those britches down
Water shooting from my rectum, warm and brown
Charmin Ultra, triple-ply, the softest kind
Sloppy clean up, splattered bits on my behind


D.N.R.
He’s fucking dead, you idiot
D.N.R.

credits

from Lazy Bastards Compilation, released December 8, 2016
Andy - Guitar/Vocals
Brian - Drums/Vocals
Chris - Bass

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If you like Urgent Hardcore/Feet, Ass or Onions/Ace of Bass/Fecal Supreme/No Discount for Destitution/Burping Witch/Shirley Obscene/Popcorn PTSD/The Elton John of Drums/They Could Be Juggalos/DJ Milquetoast/The Generation Gap/Fast & Loose (Stools)/D.N.R., you may also like: