1. MOOD MUSIC
You think you're setting a mood
But you're just wasting tape

2. HOLD YOUR TONGUE
I was born on a pirate ship
He was born on a pile of shit

3. DICK-EATER
She loved dick so much
She ate phallic shaped foods
Hot dogs, bananas
And shit stuffed in tubes

4. PRO-BUFFET
Get that animal out of it's cage
And put it's meat on the buffet

5. STREET TEAM
Meet me here to grab some shit
Pound the streets to pass it out
More fucking work than being in a band

6. DISPOSAL OF QUESTIONABLE MATERIAL
Smoke-induced tears
Saying goodbye to old friends
Cleaning out the library
Getting rid of questionable porn

7. VEGETERRORIST
14 potatoes a day
Wont make up for the thousands of lives you've slaughtered

8. EYE SORE
Neighbors all met behind your back
They don't want you living on their block
Worst fucking house on the street
You and your overgrown lawn
Get the fuck out of town
Go live in the fucking dump

9. SPILLOVER
Writing too many fucking lyrics
And not being able to fit them in the space

10. ORGAN HARVESTING
Going to the garden
To pick a fucking bushel of gore

11. KNIFE FIGHT AT NIGHT
Taking stabs in the dark
A slice of light on your blade
Knife fight at night
One thousand stab-wounds
So many warm holes to fuck

12. PHYSICIAN PRESCRIBED FIREARM
Go to the doctor
You're fucked
Treatment fails
You're fucked
You're fucked
Physician prescribed firearm

13. LAZY TRANSITIONING
Curly blonde wig
Sloppy lipstick
Five 'o clock shadow
You're a man
Beauty queen on the inside
But your outside needs a lot of work

14. FISH PISS
Fish piss

15. EVERYONE LOVES A HOT SALAD
This fucking lettuce is too cold for my teeth

16. FREE, BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK?
Ten cents a tune
It's a pretty good buy
Putting monetary value
On shit you do for fun
Free, but who gives a fuck? (x2)

17. COUNTRY KILLER
Moving to the country
To be one with nature
Pants down, guns out
Semen flies when animals die

18. STRAP STINK
Twenty-six years
Decades of filth
Wash that stinking fucking strap
Before the next fucking gig

19. LOVE TO BE LEFT OUT
A destination spot
More hungry than not
Everyone's eating but you
Keep your prized meat
With you I wont eat
A burrito from the station will do

20. CELEBRATORY WANK
Finishing up a session
A celebratory wank
There's cum on the mouse
And spit on the screen

21. SPORT DRUMMING
Sweat suit
Blast beats
Heart rate rising
Calories burned

22. PU
P-U

23. ANAL WARNING
Family, friend and foe
In the bathroom, do not go
Let this be your anal warning

24. PERFORMANCE SUIT
Sequins, bows and frilly laces
Material cut from all the right places
Work those rings and spread those thighes
Popcorn spills, the penis rises

25. TOILET SPRINGS
From the toilet and into the bottle
There are mountains on the label
But it's ladled from the sewers of Detroit

26. SELF-CENSOR
Rated X in the basement
Hard AAAARRRRGGHHH on the release

27. PARTRIDGE WITH H.I.V. (Festering Puke)
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A.I.D.S.

28. CIGARETTES, SWEETS, SALTY MEATS
Cigarettes, sweets, salty meats
Sweets, meats, blasphemy

29. POSER EXPOSER
You dress the fucking part
But that's all you've fucking got

30. JET BLACK 70
Your face looks like a catcher's mitt
Age has taken its toll
Refuse to grow old gracefully
Jet black 70
You go to the fucking hairdresser
To soak your head in dye
You look dumb as fuck
I wish you'd fucking die

31. SHOWER RAG
Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth
Change your rag every fucking week

32. SERVANT TO THE BEAST
On your knees
A servant to the beast

33. JIM RAT
Circling the lot
To get that perfect spot
Too lazy to walk
Except on the fucking treadmill

34. SEVEN INCHES OF OIL
You protest fucking wars
Started primarily to secure oil rights
By writing stupid fucking songs
And releasing them on oil-based formats

35. SEMEN SLAW
Someone's always fucking with my food

36. MATURITY DISCLAIMER
Retarded youth
All mouth, no brain
Mini-van, family man
Apologizes for his past

37. BALL PARK
A fucking ball park
Right between the thighs

38. CO-WORKER CROWD
Back of room, beer in hand
No compliments are given out
You'll get them once
They'll never go again

39. FAKE BLOOD BANDS
I wish it were your real fucking blood
Fake blood
Bleed to death, you fucking twats
Dumbfuck
Fake blood dumbfuck bands

40. ZITTY TITTY
Under the shirt
You've got more than two bumps

41. FILTH THINGS FIRST
It's what you want
Don't fuck around
Pornography
Priority