split w/ Short Order

by Captain Three Leg

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Tracks 1-17 = Captain Three Leg

Recorded December 6, 2015 with Reaper. Additional overdubs done January, 2016. Mixed February 2016.

Andy - Guitar, Bass, Vocals + Yamaha Portasound PSS-470
Brian - Drums + Vocals

Cover art by Frank M Oblak.


Tracks 18-25 = Short Order

Recorded November, 2015 by Mike Gill at 104.

Contact: shortorder.bandcamp.com


released February 21, 2016




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Track Name: Esteban
you call yourself a master musician
but those guitars you’re peddling are flimsy as fuck
Track Name: Hardcore Instruction
taking cues from records
we adopt your point of view
we take your words to heart
what you say is what we do

waiting for instruction
we don’t know what to do
until your record drops
we haven’t got a clue

mindless hardcore zombies
incapable of thought
your lyrics, our life manual
on our own, we’re left with squat
Track Name: Either Shit or Semen
songs in need of lyrics
which direction will we choose?
it’s either shit or semen
and the listener will lose

screaming about the most graphic
and offensive shit you can think of
Track Name: The Old Spanish Masters
Violent Headache
tribute song
Track Name: Duh Streets
life in New York City can be tough, man
we be out here livin’ in da streets
you and your crew may be covered in tatts
but you live at home with your fucking parents

hop on the subway to run errands for your mamma
don’t let the rival crews catch you bringing home milk
Track Name: Bedroom Brown
looking through the bin of marked-down meats
scarfing down carnivorous treats
stomach churns, you brown up all your sheets

you saved 60 cents on a half-pound of pork
but that mattress needs hauled off to the curb
Track Name: A Little Cheer
rat shit, bat shit
dirty old twat
69 assholes tied in a knot

lizard shit
Track Name: Bang & Whimper
interests are piqued
so you try something new
you’ve found your niche
now you’re one of” those guys”

it’s all you do
all you ever talk about
forking over cash
you can’t get enough

it’s all consuming
until you burn yourself out
it’s just not as fun
try to convince yourself

you’re in deep
but, it’s just not the same
its bang and whimper
then forget it exists

poring over that shit and nothing else
you thought you’d fit in
but you’re a stupid fucking poser
Track Name: Unnecessary Embelishment
there’s no reason for the effect
it’s purely for texture
Track Name: Kid Prison
drop him off at daycare
and lock him up in jail
crying behind bars
with no chance of making bail

8 hour prison sentence
while daddy’s winning bread
Track Name: Noise Avoidance
stop fucking around
and get to the fucking noise part
Track Name: Shit Seconds Long
we’ve got a song
it’s not very long
it’s shit seconds long

you find a beat
and I’ll write a part
and we made a song

it doesn’t have to be very good
it’s not very long

we kept it short
just long enough
just shit seconds long

this song is too fucking long
end the fucking song
Track Name: Landlocked
Iowa natives, yet we adopted that sound
not an ocean or grain of sand to be found

I own a pair of flip-flops
but, I’ve never been to the fucking beach
no fucking waves, just a fucking lake
Track Name: White Glory From Kansas
he’s glorious
he’s white
he’s from the Sunflower state

White Glory from Kansas
look at him go!
Track Name: Icky Band-Aid
rotting chunks of human pieces
strewn across the floor
a bloody mess of bones and hair
and sordid bits of gore

icky Band-Aid
blood-side up for all to see
Track Name: Record Detectives