split w/ Flvx Capacitor

by Captain Three Leg



released February 16, 2014

Trax 1-3 recorded October 26th, 2013, engineered and produced by Anthony Tagliaferri at Biological Speculation.

Flvx Capacitor is:
Chris Lawrence - Guitar / Vocals
Ryan McLaughlin - Drums / Vocals
Levi Thomas - Bass / Vocals

Trax 4-14 recorded January 5th, 2014 on a Fostex XR-7 Multitracker with additional guitar and vocal overdubs done on Reaper in the weeks following. Music and lyrics written and performed by Captain Three Leg with the exception of “Ode to Odin” (lyrics by Tom Bothered), the introduction for "Yes, But Is It Art?" (by Frank Goshit), "No Room For Dessert" (guest vocal by Paul Pfeiffer).

Captain Three Leg is:
Andy - Guitar, Bass + Vocals
Brian - Drums + Vocals

Cover art by Tom Kemp..




Captain Three Leg

contact / help

Contact Captain Three Leg

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Flvx Capacitor - Age Of Squirrel
Age of Squirrel!!

Tough guys are delicate flowers
On the inside and they know it
Acting tough on the stage
Lame breakdowns full of half-witted rage
Walking back and forth, ticking like a bomb
Wearing sideways hats, laying down the law
Its not fast its not fun
But when all the punching girls and two stepping is done
They feel a sense of pride for their crew
Its cool to hurt others when there's nothing to do
Acting tough on the stage
Lame breakdowns full of half witted rage
Track Name: Flvx Capacitor - Violence As Art
Ravage your enemies
Tear limb from limb
Make pain your game
Minds melt together

From a young age
Right from the start
We're taught to respect
Violence as art

Money we kill for
Comes from the wood
You murdered our "saviour" with
Ever notice that?

Massive genocide
A common occurrence
Observe everyday
A violent insurgence

Starvation - blood loss
Death upon - your cross

People die everyday
Human pain
Bible declares it okay
Create sin

By land or sea, armor falls away
Expose weakness to our fucking blade

What do we gain from this?
Not a thing
Humanity destroys itself
That's our way
Track Name: Flvx Capacitor - Burrito Grinder
Spicy meat is so neat
But not without
Rice, beans, cheese
Lettuce, sour cream
Tortilla dream

Stuffed with rice
Tastes so nice
Vegetarian options
Available upon request

Mexican is what Flux eats
We travel far and wide
Through space and through time
To find a burrito to fuel our grind

El Pariso! Puerta Vallarta! Taqueira el Aguila!
Track Name: Taco Tuesday
Tuesday night at Taco John's
Two-for one unspoken deal
Super hot green chili sauce
Hours spent on the porcelain throne

Pimply teens serving refried beans
As white as snow in a cotton field
Wrists bare scars from bubbling grease
Tacos soggy from crying teens

Taco Tuesday at Taco John's
Fill your guts up for a song
Bowels explode before too long
Water splashing on your dong
Track Name: Ode To Odin
Hey there, young man
Whatever happened to your band?
In '87 this was your life
Is one of those groupies now your wife?

So, where are you now, young man?
Driving a bread delivery van?
Searchling for metal success
But many more were doing this

Ode to Odin
Falling just short of living the dream
Ode to Odin
That hair metal phase just ran out of steam

There's a certain something you lacked
But that Gazzarri dude had your back
The hairspray and leather wasn't enough
But the LA scene has always been tough

Cutting out the cheeks of your pants
You weren't passed over just by chance
Let's face it, you weren't no WASP
Hide that "Metal Years" video from your boss

You gave it all that you had
You cut a record that was pretty bad
But, boy, could that Duncan play
Now he's swinging the axe in Armored Saint
Track Name: Yes, But Is It Art?
I could shave off all my hair
Douse myself in gasoline
And then set myself aflame

A naked lady with some eggs
Sticks a dozen up her ass
And shits them out onto a plate

Slicing up my wrists
Spilling blood from open vein
Speckled red against the floor

Climbing naked up a tree
Rub my skin with loads of honey
Making friends with grizzly bears

College fund depleted, money wasted on this shit
Grants obtained to stretch out longer than should be allowed
Relatives all hang their heads, a shame they can't ignore
Another term completed, mom and dad completely broke

Making paintings with my dick
Scribble "slut" across my head
Stomping on some broken glass
Eating food out of the trash
Track Name: Iowa, Not Ohio
There's no "S" in Captain Three Leg
There's only one, that's all there's ever been

We're from Iowa, not Ohio
So get it fucking straight, asshole
Track Name: The World's Worst Neighbor
Kirk Devane
You're a pain
It's a shame they gave you the boot

You lived next door to the Stratford Inn
Selling burgers at the Minuteman
A gift shop full of worthless shit
Push it on people as they walk out the door

An honest word has never passed your lips
Everything about you is a lie
Everybody hated your guts
But from where I sit, I liked you just fine

They gave you two good seasons, but the feedback was too bad
The laughs on screen at Dick's expense proved not to be enough
Your cafe sold to Larry and his brothers Darryl & Darryl
Shuffled off into obscurity, a footnote for the books

Kirk Devane
It's a shame
You couldn't stay up until the end
Track Name: Crossed Lines
Saving face, never backing down
Tempers flare from words exchanged
Speak your mind and nothing more
Reading shit that isn't there

Build a wall around yourself
No one else is allowed inside
That distance is growing every day
Just shrug it off like you don't give a fuck

You're crossing a line and there's no turning back

Lines are getting crossed and words misunderstood
Feelings get hurt and egos are bruised
Track Name: No Room For Dessert
I could go for some cake
But a cupcake's just too much
More than just one bite
And my tummy fills right up

If only someone could place
A donut hole on a stick
Drizzle it with some icing
And charge way more than it's worth
More than a mouthful is more than I can take

My lack of commitment carries over to my plate
Track Name: Giving Up On Punk
King of the crusties
When you dropped out of school
But you turned your back on punk
When it stopped being cool

You've done a 180
And abandoned your views
Now it's black metal and porno
That you mostly stick to
Track Name: How Many Inches Did You Get Last Night?
600 bucks on a pile of junk
I used it once and then it went to shit
Tire went flat from lack of use
Propped up on bricks, in the garage it sits

Took three grown men just to get it fixed
We're back in business, or so I hoped
A gas-powered shovel is what we have
It doesn't blow snow, it just plain blows

Blood pressure is rising every time I look at it
I break my back shoveling while in the garage it sits
Money wasted with my time, I've had it with this shit

Money lifted from my wallet every time it snows
At 25 bucks a pop, I'm quickly going broke
If only I had gotten it fixed, what a fucking joke
Track Name: The Pride Of Pine Nut
Closing up the bait shop
And hitting the road
Gonna prove that Hubert's
The best in the show

The Mayflower Beckons
Just me and my mutt
We're passing the time
And we're naming all nuts

Cashew nut
Macadamia nut
Pine nut
Pistachio nut
Red pistachio nut
All-natural white pistachio nut

The best bloodhound in the crowd
The pride of Pine Nut
Let's make them all proud

And if Hubert comes in dead last
It's me and Lil' Buddy
With my hand up his back
Track Name: Diversification
Branching out
Brewing our beer
You'll take it up the rear
Buy our useless shit