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Captain Three Leg / Chachi On Acid

by Captain Three Leg / Chachi On Acid

/
1.
Punch me in the face with an atom bomb Blow off my head with Vietnam I want you die, I want me die more My brain needs to be karate kicked with your axe You told me that I needed to hold my Care Bear so that I would feel much better Stab out my leg with a nuclear gun Explode my guts with lazer cannon slice Chop off my hair with violent saw Extract vanilla from the bowels of the Earth
2.
Coin-operated teeth and mashed potatoes always mystify Job Teddy took a dump and wiped his ass with a globe Clark bars and celery sticks for lunch every day at noon Jerry Garcia was cookin’ up a slam in a rusty old spoon You tried to save the butterflies You looked like such a fool The front of your Mötley Crüe t-shirt was coated in your stool
3.
Your mom is a cop and I think that is sad She beats up the puppies when she is mad Poison is deadly, so is your mom She pounds on your face like a nuclear bomb Your stupid mom cop can fuck fuck fuck...fuck the fuck off My mom used to be a cop too She loved shooting crackheads and she loved sniffing glue But at least she grew up now and quit that dumb job She hangs out on the street selling corn on the cob
4.
My piss froze solid at the library You smell like a bucket and your teeth are scary The chunky sound of war rings in our ears Forget all about that and just drink 50 beers Music gushes out of my head And forms a puddle on the ground If you don't want to step in it You'd better not hang around I'm fed up with applesauce cake We watched TV and then we drowned in the lake Circus performers tried to kill a small dog Instead of just dying, we went out for a jog
5.
I can see your hair I can't see your teeth The universe is godawful stupid But Golum will floss your teeth for you I can see your eye I can't see your spleen Davey and Goliath won an award for being the cartoon most like an enema I can see Utah I can't see your face Aladdin and his magic lamp got doped up on LSD His arm dislocated and attacked a marine Portly officer of the law crawled down from the mountain Chuck E Cheese was caught in the act of peeing in the fountain I can't see grandma
6.
I want to be forced to eat a frog I want someone to shove it in my face And mash my jaw up and down With their clumsy hands so I chew it up Cram a pine cone in my ear and Press it with an iron into my brain Until I can concentrate on an image of a prickly pear in the National Geographic magazine
7.
He grew his powerful mustache for a reason He calls it magic, they call it treason Doctor Winky led the rebellion with his stylish facial hair The elders understood the catastrophic effect When shaving implement meets face and neck The world cannot possibly be changed by the clean shaven
8.
No one is impressed by your shirt or your pants If you really want to impress us, then learn how to dance Or get good with archery or puking or French Learn how to floss with a hat or a fucking wrench Superman's boogers are highly toxic to gerbils
9.
(Black Magic cover)
10.
(Black Magic cover)
11.
(Black Magic cover)
12.
My legs were broken by the Space Needle When it fell on my face In the bottom of the ocean
13.
The Bible is the dumbest book that I've ever seen There's not even a picture on the cover If you want somebody to read your damn book You should slap on a picture of Danny Glover The literary business is my business And I am the best I'm the most powerful literary agent that you've ever seen The dictionary is set up all dumb They should have put all the swear words first Plus there should be a whole section on punk bands How many times have I told you Curious George should have been an eagle - not a monkey Now go rewrite the start of the Bible That part of the book is really junky
14.
I looked at a postcard And god was shaped like an ostrich The concern I felt for mankind Was erased when the newspaper came Bob Hope should never have been famous Because nothing he ever said was the least bit clever But at least he was able to overthrow the King of Amsterdam I'm going to make you cry now by describing the most recent time I went to the grocery store I wish I could eat an entire grape!
15.
(Bill Basset Band cover)
16.
Nothing matters any more Outer space has been colonized by the ghost of Mussolini
17.
Burping up a sausage Taking down the lights Tearing off my own ear Telling mom goodnight after everyone else has died Q-Bert is a mystery Everybody says so Carve another soap sculpture Crapping on the go like we have no testicles left What else do you want from me?
18.
(instrumental)
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.

about

KRE-33

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released June 27, 2016

Tracks 1-18 = Captain Three Leg

Recorded July 6th, 2014 on a Fostex XR-7 Multitracker with additional overdubs done on Reaper over the next few months. Vocals recorded November 10th, 2014 on a different 4-track machine.

All songs written by Captain Three Leg / all lyrics by Food Fortunata with the exception of #9, 10 + 11 (Black Magic) and #15 (The Bill Basset Band).

Andy – Guitar + Bass
Brian – Drums
Food – Vocals
_________________________________________________

Tracks 19 - 28 = Chachi On Acid

(no information given)

_________________________________________________

Cover art by Tom Kemp.

Released as a 6 panel digipack CD-R on Karyeeye Tapes in a limited edition of 150 copies.
kretapes@gmail.com
kretapes.blogspot.com
kretapes.tictail.com

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